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    3/29/2007

    心若在,梦就在

    年逾弱冠,外加两春秋。
    四体不勤,五谷不分。
    两袖清风,一事未成。
    大难未经,小挫不断。
    心比天高,命如纸薄。
    慨当日高谈阔论,
    然今日自嘲浅薄。
     
    人生就是在为自己寻找存在的理由。
    如果有一天这个理由不存在了,即使躯体活着,也只是行尸走兽。
     
    3/27/2007

    用心生活

         昨天是L.V.Beethoven一百八十周年逝世纪念日,又看了一遍《复制贝多芬》。L.V.Beethoven是古典主义和浪漫主义的承接者,他前期的作品比如第一、二交响曲是古典主义的,而后期的作品是浪漫主义的。古典主义与浪漫主义的区别是:前者注重形式,后者更注重内容。个人认为古典主义的代表作可以首推J.S.Bach的《十二平均率》,其形式的严谨可以和数学家媲美。浪漫主义更注重对人内心世界的挖掘,是音乐赋予人的灵魂,就像《复制贝多芬》中L.V.Beethoven所说的:“我讨厌没有灵魂的作品。”
         是啊!没有灵魂的作品是不活泼的!许多音乐家都认为自己是上帝的使者,他们的使命是实现上帝与世人的沟通。上帝在创造人类的时候,不仅创造了躯体,也赋予了灵魂,不知道为什么灵魂部分缺失了。
     
         昨天借了《红楼梦》,看了十来回,就看不下去了,这大大出乎我的预期,已经很久没有看这类小说了,那种新鲜感只有三分钟的热度。或许是由于一些观念在我的头脑中先入为主的原因吧,越看越感觉是在看类似“韩剧”的那些东西。
     
         ………………
    3/26/2007

    Ludwig van Beethoven

    BIOGRAPHY

    He was born in the German town of Bonn on the 16th of December 1770. His grandfather Ludwig and his father Johann were both musicians. Johann was to act as little Ludwig's first music teacher, but Ludwig soon changed to the court organist C. G. Neefe. Passing eleven years of age, Ludwig deputized for Neefe, and at twelve had his first music published. He then stayed as Neefe's assistant until 1787, when at seventeen, he took off for Vienna. Even though Vienna was to be his home for the rest of his life, this first visit was short. On hearing that his mother was dying, he quickly returned to Bonn. Five years later he finally moved to Vienna to live and work.
        After arriving in 1792 he studied composition and counterpoint under Haydn, Schenk, Salieri and Albrechtsberger. At the same time, he tried to establish himself as pianist and composer. His good relations with the towns aristocracy soon led to a secured income. In 1809, with the sole condition that he stayed in Vienna, Prince Kinsky, Prince Lobkowitz and Archduke Rudolp even guaranteed Beethoven a yearly income. But going back to the years around 1800, which is traditionally called the early period, he was still trying to master the high classical style. This strive culminated in the second symphony from 1801-1802.
        This is also the time when the middle period starts. From now up until 1813, Beethoven develops and enhances the high classical style into a more dynamic and individualistic style. It is now that he writes symphonies Nr. 3 - 8, piano consert Nr. 5 and a lot of chamber music. But as he learns to control his craft and develop the music into new undiscovered grounds, he also suffers from reminders of the pains of real life. He has early in life discovered that his hearing wasn't what it should be, and the disorder gets worse as time goes by. It gets to the point where Beethoven is thinking of ending his life as he sees no way out of his despair. That fact is documented in the letter he wrote to his brothers in 1802, the so called "Heiligenstadt Testament".
        This hearing disorder seems to have affected his social life to a great extent. He became difficult to handle in social interactions and could suddenly burst into outbreaks of anger and show bad temper where he usually insulted someone. If that is the reason for his troubles with women, or if their is something traumatic hidden in his childhood, I don't know, but the fact is that he never got involved with a woman in a normal relation. Beethoven seems to have been attracted to women he couldn't get, or at least was hard to get. An example is Antoine Brentano, with whom he had a relationship, but who broke up with him to marry a friend. It is she who is known as the "immortal beloved" in letters addressed to her from Beethoven in 1812. Around the same time, as this wasn't enough, his deafness reached the stage where he no longer could perform.
        Now came a couple of years without much creative work. Instead he was tormented by personal matters concerning his nephew of which he tried to gain custody when the brother died in 1815. But Beethoven didn't have the capacity of a domestic human being, and even though he did win the struggle for custody, Beethovens relation with the nephew was tense and burdensome and it reached the point where little Karl tried to take his own life in 1826.  This is also the so called late period in Beethovens musical career. His music is described as less dramatic and more introvert, but also, I would like to add, more mature and secure. It has a flavour of the genius growing old and an obvious attitude. Listen for example to symphony Nr. 9 - it is complete! There is really not much to add as I see it. The above mentioned piece gave him, at last, at bit of economical success and he could live his last years in relative wellfare. But this period is still characterized by his lack of funds, much because his former patrons no longer could support him. Maybe the lifelong poverty is a reason for his deteriorating health and his death on March 26 1827.
     
    Ludwig van Beethoven  Biography Pages :
    3/13/2007

    生活是一连串的事件

    一月份考试的结果出来了,和自己的期望有较大的差距。
     
    如果说人生就是选择,那我现在是否还能坚持曾经的选择呢?
     
    生活是一连串的事件,无论发生什么,生活都要继续。
     
    我真的要静下心来,认真地思考一些事情了。
     
    3/9/2007

    吴英---又一个蓬齐?

         有点金融常识的人都知道蓬齐融资。所谓蓬齐融资,即通常情况下,偿还的现金流超过生产活动带来的现金收益,为了偿还债务,只能继续进一步增加债务,即“拆东墙补西墙”式的融资。(蓬齐:被称为“金融魔术师”的骗子)
         2006年10月,吴英突降东阳。此后三个月,她先是一掷千金买下了东阳县城汉宁街的100多间铺位,随后注册12家实业公司、成立本色集团自任董事长。本色商贸城和本色·正道汽车服务、本色网吧、本色建材城、本色概念酒店、本色咖啡馆……她名下的产业几乎占据了东阳的黄金街道,仅本色网吧的单层门面就达20多间。
         3个月内,她连续慈善捐款630万元,可列胡润慈善榜第95位;而此前媒体一再风传的38亿元总资产,更可晋身胡润“女富豪榜”第6位。
     
         吴英一直对媒体声明,她的钱是干净的。吴英是如何在很短的时间内聚集巨额资金的呢?一个可能的答案是:通过地下钱庄进行蓬齐融资。
         一提到钱庄,人们的第一印象来自于古装剧中的钱庄、镖局。近年来地下钱庄为什么逐渐盛行了呢?首先,经济的发展使得私有资本扩大,这使得地下钱庄的盛行有了物质基础;其次,对地下钱庄有强大的需求。当通过正规渠道进行融资的交易成本过高时,地下钱庄融资就是一个很可行的方法。通过地下钱庄融资的利率一般都是远远高于通过正规渠道融资的利率的,月利率少则3%,多则10%以上。目前地下钱庄还是政府金融管制的盲区,据不完全统计,仅浙江省温州市,地下资金就达1200-1500亿人民币。
         现在的问题是,为什么地下钱庄会借钱给吴英这类人呢?吴英这类人的“发迹”似乎有一套标准的模式,那就是,通过自己的第一笔资金办实业,然后是向地下资本许诺较高的资本报酬,资本的逐利是无可厚非的。当第一笔债务即将到期时,通过强大的舆论为自己造势,使外界相信自己的资本是充足的,这样他们就可以继续借钱,来补足第一笔债务,拆东墙补西墙。但是这个雪球越滚越大,泡沫总有它破灭的一天,后果也就不言而喻了。
     
        
        
     
    3/7/2007

    点球

         已经一个多月没有踢球了,今天来到球场,最大的感觉就是大腿肥了!和几个同学一起轮流射门,玩了一个小时左右,就累的不行了。躺在场边休息,和煦的阳光照在脸上,天空万里无云,就一个字:爽。不一会儿就睡着了。醒来之后,看他们正在射点球,突然来了兴致。
         足球比赛中,最容易的是射点球,最难的也是射点球。12码线不知难倒了多少巨星,可谓引无数英雄竟折腰。射点球主要有两种方法:第一是力量式,代表人物是阿兰.希勒、巴蒂斯图塔、巴拉克等,以力量致胜。点球点到球门的距离是11米,力量型队员的球速一般都在30米/秒以上,也就是说球运行的时间大约只有0.3秒,而人的最快反映时间是0.2秒,所以力量型队员射出的点球是非常难扑的。第二是技巧式,代表人物是皮尔洛、齐达内等,主要的方法是欺骗对方的守门员,使对手先动,比如一直盯着球门的左边,而打球门的右边;或者在脚触球的瞬间改变踢球的方向。不过,总体上来说,足球场上罚点球的以力量型队员居多,所以我们可以经常见到后卫队员去罚点球。
         罚点球也是罚球队员和对方守门员之间的心理战,特别是守门员喜欢用眼睛去挑衅罚球队员,而许多罚球队员根本不理这一套,一蹴而就。我在罚点球的时候,也不喜欢和守门员对视。
         主罚点球最重要的是:以我为中心。踢自己的球,让对手去扑吧!
         今天似乎感觉比较好,射了10个,只有一个打在门柱上。
    3/6/2007

    There's a hero if you look inside your heart

    There's a hero
    If you look inside your heart
    You don't have to be afraid
    Of what you are

    There's an answer
    If you reach into your soul
    And the sorrow that you know
    Will meit away
    And then a hero comes along
    With the strength to carry on
    And you cast your fears aside
    And you know you can survive

    So when you feel like hope is gone
    Look inside you and be strong
    And you'll finally see the truth
    That a hero lies in you
    It's a long road
    When you face the world alone
    No one reaches out a hand
    For you to hold
    You can find love
    If you search within yourself
    And the emptiness you felt will disappear
    And then a hero comes along
    With the strength to carry on
    And you cast your fears aside
    So when you feel like hope is gone
    Look inside you and be strong
    And you'll finally see the truth
    That a hero lies in you
    Lord knows......
    Dreams are hard to follow
    But don't let anyone
    Tear them away
    hold on
    There will be tomorrow
    In time you'll find the away
    And then a hero comes along
    With the strength to carry on
    And you cast your fears aside
    And you know you can survive
    So when you feel like hope is gone
    Look inside you and be strong
    And you'll finally see the truth
    That a hero lies in you
    That a hero lies in you...
    That a hero lies in you......

    3/4/2007

    我的爷爷

      爷爷今年已经年逾古稀外加三春秋,有时一些不熟悉的人会问爷爷有没有六十岁.爷爷的身体虽不如邻居家的那位爷爷那样身板硬,但总体上还是能说的过去的.
      爷爷在过去的七十余年中,在婚姻上是不幸的.我的奶奶到今年为止已经去世四十年了,据邻居家的奶奶说,我的奶奶是一个争强好胜的人,但在十一的婚姻生活中,我的爷爷和奶奶从来就没有吵过架,也没有红过脸.爷爷曾说过,每当奶奶准备发火的时候,爷爷都会走开或者做不说话状,等奶奶气消了,爷爷再把问题给奶奶讲清楚.时间长了,爷爷和奶奶之间也就有了默契.爷爷由于战乱的原因,只读了三四年的私塾,也许他并不知道中国古代文人所追求的那种"举案齐眉,相敬如宾"的境界,但在爷爷和奶奶的短暂的十一年婚姻生活中,他们做到了.
      对爷爷来说,另外一件不幸的事或许就是曾祖父的死.1976年,曾祖父已经86岁高龄,一次意外使曾祖父摔断了腿,几乎瘫痪.此时爷爷兄弟四个的经济条件都不好,曾祖父为了不拖累爷爷而绝食,无论爷爷怎么劝说都无济于事.曾祖父在临终前对曾祖母说过,在爷爷兄弟四人中,最像他的就是爷爷.十年后(1986)爷爷看着曾祖母撒手人寰.
     
      如果说爷爷的前半生是不幸的,那么爷爷的后半生则相对好多了.特别是我的妈妈过门以后,这过去的二十余年,妈妈像对待亲生父亲一样对爷爷,爷爷也视我妈妈为亲生女儿.
      爷爷的生活经历在潜移默化中影响着我。我不相信爱情,我相信生活是现实的,现实到柴米油盐,如此同时,家庭成员之间需要相互理解,互相宽容,这样家庭才能和谐,生活在其中才会感到幸福.